100 days...

Can you believe it? As of Monday, November 3rd, I will have 100 straight days in Japan. I'm not sure how I feel about that, in all honesty. It feels like it's going all-too-fast, but sometimes I feel like that's how it should be, because I can miss home so much. In any case, the sun rises and the sun sets, and I guess I've just been losing count until recently.

Anyway, yesterday was Halloween. This is the first year of my whole life that I haven't dressed up or done anything fun. I watched a bad horror movie online and then I slept for 11 hours straight. I talked about Halloween to the Jr. High kids here, and it's sort of shocking how much people don't understand. I was really struggling to explain why getting 10 lbs of candy (they don't know what a lb. is...), and having some middle-aged guy chase you and your friends around with a chainsaw is totally awesome. It's a peculiarly American thing, Halloween - as Nigel is quick to remind me. There is something amazing about Halloween - the night when the suburbs are full of dads pulling scary tricks, and kids are so buzzed up on Walmart bulk-buy candy that they can't see straight. *deep sigh*

Anyway, I suppose I'll just have to Halloween twice as hard next year.

I talked to one of the Jr. High teachers about my concerns concerning my elementary school deployment, and the teacher was totally receptive. I mean, these are real concerns, and not just means of escaping work - I am not trained to be a full-time teacher, I cannot speak fluent Japanese, and I don't think I can work five classes a day. She seemed receptive, and she scheduled a meeting with my boss. My hope is that I'll be able to tell my concerns and have them heard and adapted for; time will tell how it all pans out.

But, I am less afraid of the future than I was. I think, if I am honest and hardworking, that the teachers will see that and respond accordingly. I think that if I cannot work as much as scheduled, they will meet my pleas, and that is perhaps as much as I can ask for at this point. They will meet my pleas, and I will be considered a partner in the Japanese education system, and not a resource. Because, I am not a fountain of English; I am a human being, just like everyone else here. And even though other people might be afraid to say it, I can't stand working too hard and being underappreciated.

I'm a scared boy. I've learned a lot, but I'm still a scared boy a long way from home, and I need a friend, not an increasingly demanding job. We'll see if things pan out. Until then...