Kawagoe, etc.

Winter is taking hold of my little agricultural town, and though the weeks are speckled with sunshine and clear skies, there's an overall sense of retreat and return. Like the grizzly bear and the shrew, I too retreat into my hole to hibernate. I have been spending a lot of time napping and watching movies on the internet at home, with possible detrimental effects to my mental well-being. To rectify this, I decided last weekend to get a large-size dose of social life.
I went out drinking with some other English teachers at one of my favorite nearby bars, and decided to spend the night at my friend's house in order to accompany the group on an English tour of the nearby city of Kawagoe the next day. Kawagoe was beautiful, and I'm really glad I went. We walked around an old buddhist temple, saw over 500 hand-carved statues of monks, and went to the old-town district (Ko Edo - Little Tokyo), and walked through an open-air lane of candy makers and sellers. Really great time, to be sure. It did a great deal more for me and my spirits than sleeping in and taking a bath ever could - and really, I'm only 22. I have a bad habit of acting like a middle-aged woman from time to time (but read wine, a good book, and a hot bath are really the cure for most minor ailments.) When I'm out doing new and fun things, I hardly think about my situation, or how lonely I can get to be away from friends and family. And I'm a little more determined to keep getting out there, seeing if I can try to find a new place once a week, or enjoy an old one in a new way.
On a related note, my friends from around Osaka moved to Tokyo yesterday, in fact. I will be taking many day-trips to go visit them soon, which, while bad for the pocketbook (about 20 dollars to get there and back, plus whatever incurred expenses), is great for the spirits.
The same day as the Kawagoe tour, I experienced a different kind of cultural event - the red light district. I was meeting some friends in a bar in a different city, closer to Tokyo, and had to walk through what is known as "Whore's Alley". It's not as sketchy as it may sound, but basically it's a lot of "Snack Bars" and "Massage Parlors" with ladies standing on the street trying to catch your eye. It's a little awkward, but then again, it's one of those cultural things that are difficult to avoid. I even saw a family pushing a baby in a stroller through the alley, though! ...So, it can't be all that sketchy.

As far as the changes to my job in January go, I am really fearing the worst. Every time I try to talk to anyone about my concerns, I just get shooed away or directed to a different person. Basically, there are three people deciding everything, and each of them tell me to speak to someone else. But, I have scheduled a meeting, only it's scheduled in mid-December...which is pretty close to the January inaction of the changes. My worry is that it will basically serve more as a meeting to tell me what the schedule IS rather than what it could be. And, if that proves to be true, I'm going to get pretty upset, because I've been trying to air my concerns and work with my employer to find a mutually beneficial plan with the main goal of helping the children learn English to a higher degree. I think I've said this before, but they see me more as a teaching tool, like an English tape, than as an employee. And, if they just lay this horrible plan into my lap in December, I'm at least going to threaten to quit, and see if that gets them in a more cooperative mood.
Don't think that I'm ungrateful. I'm really happy to have gotten this great opportunity to come to Japan and teach and learn so much. It's been really wonderful. But, as far as the administration goes, I've received very little help of any kind. The only people that have been interested in helping me to get comfortable in Japan and embrace my role as a teacher are Nigel and S-Lan, and this new plan only serves to keep us from each other. I depend on their help so much, I really don't know how I can do a much more difficult and demanding job than my current one without any of the help I'm receiving now.
As far as quitting goes, though it is a bit dramatic, I just don't want to find myself working for a group of people that don't care anything about me or my well-being. They see me as an object, and parcel me out as they see fit, despite my wanting to just talk the plan over, and air my worries and concerns (that could be remedied easily, if they'd just listen). And frankly, I just don't know if I want to continue a working relationship with someone that won't even give me the decency of a meeting (except once the plan is already de facto enacted, and any discussion is rendered useless).
So, in any case, there is a dark cloud hanging over my head that is accompanying the oncoming winter. It's a kind of deep nausea of uncertainty, and it isn't likely to go away anytime soon.